Death and birth are 2 strong catalysts that have the power to change our lives forever. Regrets come flooding to the surface instantly, carried on the memory waves of sentiments we never expressed and dreams we failed to nurture, motivating us to live the rest of our days to our absolute fullest potential. Sudden change makes us stop and re-evaluate our existence. We contemplate time, the inevitable, the choices we’ve made that have brought us either hardships or happiness, and where we’re headed from here. Yet the one question that remains silent in our hearts is, “Did I love enough?”
When my first baby was born the floodgates to my heart opened and all the love I’d been repressing for so many years came gushing out. Finally, there was someone I could smother with affection, attention and complete adoration without the fear of being rejected, ridiculed, abandoned or abused. I knew in that moment that the rest of my life was going to be about love.
That revelation instantly filled my world with color and I became like a child again – innocent, vulnerable and transparent. One afternoon while Hayley was napping I pulled out a damaged sheet of Arches paper (so I wouldn’t “waste” a good one) and started throwing some watercolors on it. The woman who emerged in the painting was inspired from a photo that was taken of me a year or so earlier. I don’t have red hair but the purple eyes were surely an indication of all the tears I’ve shed. And it’s plain to see that the fragile, transparent shell of an embryonic womb was developing in preparation for the birth of my Inner Being.
Old paradigms gave way as I stepped up to the easel and began to create my experience using colors that were in harmony with my true essence. I began to form new beliefs grounded in love that would protect me when I voiced my message to the world through the expression of my creativity – art, photography and writing. And through the death of my old ways of being I began to embrace life once again.
Back to the Paintings gallery